Why do you feel so crap after a breakthrough?

You’re talking with your counsellor, or maybe a friend, or simply journaling by yourself. And you have this “aha” moment. The tears come, the realisation dawns on you, and you FINALLY emotionally understand why you’ve felt so tense, anxious, depressed, or insecure for so long.

There is a beautiful moment of relief as you allow the feelings you’ve been suppressing to flow. The relief of seeing the belief that held you back, and finally being able to let go of it.

You’d expect to walk away feeling lighter. And maybe you do—for a bit.

But then you start to feel the crash. Your body aches. You’re shockingly tired. You feel shaky. You just want to lie down. Maybe you feel completely numb.

And you’re confused, because you’re thinking:

… "I just did the work."

… …"I just had the moment they all talk about!"

… … … "Why do I feel so shit now? Did I do it wrong? Have I made things worse? Why don’t I feel better?!"

The answer looks a lot like a pot plant.

When a plant becomes too big for its pot, the roots press hard against the inside. They get tangled, dense, and tight. The plant will survive, but it won’t thrive.

So you do the right thing. You take it out, you give the roots a shake, you get rid of the compacted soil (I’m not a gardener, that’s just what my mum always told me to do), and you transfer it to a bigger, more spacious pot.

The plant is ultimately better for it. But when you move and shake a plant like that, it goes into shock. Literally, plant shock. It requires extra water, extra food, and gentle TLC for a few days just to recover. If it’s cared for, it comes out of that shock, stretches out its roots, and grows stronger than ever.

You are that pot plant.

You’ve just done the magnificent work of bringing long-held beliefs and old traumas to the surface that were keeping your nervous system stuck in this heightened state. You’ve faced it. You’ve realised it’s not true. This particular spell has been broken.

But it’s still a shock. Those old patterns were your small pot. They weren’t bad just cause they were small. In fact, they kept you safe for a time, that’s why you made them. But your roots have grown. Your ambitions and desires have outgrown the beliefs that once helped you survive.

So you let go of the little pot. And the shock sets in. You feel raw, vulnerable, and exhausted.

That is completely okay. You’ve done nothing wrong. You’ve just shaken off the old, compacted soil to make room for beliefs that fit your size, your dreams, and your soul.

For the next few days, you need extra water, extra rest, and a lot of TLC.

And then, naturally, you will feel yourself start to grow, stretch out, and thrive.